08-07-2011, 07:55 AM
Want Ads for a Wife . . .
Quote: FISHERMAN
Wife wanted, must be able to dig worms, clean and cook
fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of
the motorboat.
SALESMAN
Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine
article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelors around is
now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses!
Has own house, car and successful career!
ECONOMIST
There is demand of a wife. Though supply is no problem, my
requirements are high. However the Elasticity of my demands should
not bear too heavy a burden upon the national interest.
MATHEMATICIAN
Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be
numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to
help further my family unit.
IT CONSULTANT
Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The
speed of my current flows of information and processes is slowing
down and the inclusion of a wife into the programming of my life
is bound to improve efficiency. Compatibility could be an issue.
BUSINESS MAN
Wife wanted for company.
POLITICIAN
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we
live, to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past
differences and short comings. I believe that we the people need
someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and
bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized
society................. (etc., etc?. and never getting to the
point.)
CAR DEALER
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in
excellent working condition. Should not have a third party
insurance.
FARMER
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breeding.
LAWYER
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for
the post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for
should be strictly - a girl with evidence to support this view
that she is a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender
to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any
objections would be overruled. Apply in strictest confidence as
all liabilities are null and void in the event of failure on your
part of any kind whatsoever.
PILOT
Wife required to fly through life together. Only level headed
applicants need apply. She must not have her heads in the clouds,
but have her feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it
for the long haul. And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically
sound!
BANKER
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her
service for which no service charges would be payable.
ACCOUNTANT
Required a girl endowed with mind boggling assets + a good head
for figures. Remember BOTH conditions need be fulfilled. Tendency
towards making unnecessary expenditure will prove to be a
liability in the selection process. Her very nature should be one
of generating as more income in my life as possible. She will be
profited from the alliance with a nice personality [ME] and this
relation will be to the credit of her family.
SHARABI
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a drinks
factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends
come round that is only seven times a week. Girl preferred who
can take me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet Personally in a bar or send
drinks for trial. Sample should be ample.
BUILDER
Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life.
Must be homely and willing to build relationship from the ground up.
Pillars of solid safety and beams of understanding will be provided.
DOCTOR
I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness i am experiencing.
She must be capable of injecting happiness in my life. She should
not wrangle me in the vicious circle of multiple tests. However if
she feels the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me.
ARMY COMMANDO
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife.
Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass.
She who dares wins. Camouflage provided.
RACE CAR DRIVER
A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be
able to keep pace.
ASTRONAUT
I'm searching for a wife to fill the black hole my life has
become. Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are
out of this world.