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Funny ad for a forsale truck.

Welcome to big ass truckdom. You lookin? I got it. You wantin to buy? Well you're in luck, son, 'cause I'm sellin!

2000 F250 Super Duty Super Cab Lariat automatic 4x4. You wanted a crew cab? Too bad, this one's a SUPER cab. The one Clark Kent would haul ass in when he forgets his red cape. The one Tom Brady would drive with Giselle on their first date. The one Tim McGraw would ride in to pick up Faith Hill after a mani-pedi. And with a super cab and 60/40 split front seating, you can fit Clark, Tom, Giselle, Tim, Faith and your ugly mug in the truck all at the same time to go get you some heavy lumber from the local Ikea.

You're lookin at all American iron, Bubba. 7.3 turbocharged liters of USDA Prime kick ass! We ain't talking no sissy Ashton Kutcher / Ryan Seacrest 5.4 liter spark plug poppin' gasser job. What we got here is a Chuck Norris-approved, Bruce Willis yippe ki yay mumma fuffa Powerstroke diesel burner in all its $105 a barrel light sweet crude goodness. Miles per gallon? No, son. . .smiles per gallon!

You might be lookin at those pictures and thinking, "Boy that right there sure is something purdy!" Well you may be right. But let me tell you that it ain't no show truck. Not by a long shot. Paint is maybe a 5 out of 10. Looks good from afar but far from good. Well, Jack, lemme tell you Shaquille O'Neal ain't much to look at either but he got personality and he still got him some. No no, it ain't no show truck. It'll win awards though! You put it in a My Work Truck Will Chew Up Your Toyota Tacoma, Spit Out a Prius and Look Good Doing It contest and it'll garner a Third Place prize all day everyday, Jackson. Oh and the top right corner of the tail gate has a little beauty mark. Thought we were going to lower the tail gate and use it to mow down a zombie in reverse, but it ended up being a small post that we gave a gentle love tap to.

Well what's it got? 35" x 13.5" Cooper Discoverer STT shoes on 20" Akuza rims to fill out them wheel wells opened up by the big ole lift. Oh my lawdy, that's high. No it ain't. . .man up son! But your girl will appreciate the wide, full length all metal Trail Boss Step Bars to get herself up in the rig. Those will also serve double duty as a place to lay your zombie kills if you don't want to dirty up the already dirtied and bedlinered truck bed. Need better steering so you can avoid the stray zombie? Drop pitman arm, drop trackbar bracket, adjustable track bar and new power steering pump gotcha covered, Hoss. Genuine Ford Harley headlights and a brand new windshield so you can see the stupid zombie. Crown performance steel/Kevlar brake lines and new brake booster are there for extra whoa power in case you just can't avoid that last zombie and Husky liners to keep the zombie goo out of the carpet. New A/C components to keep you cool when you bug out. Alpine stereo with XM receiver and Pioneer speakers will drown out the zombie moaning. Now when you get tired of living amongst the zombies, son, flip the in-bed Atwood folding hitch ball and attach a gooseneck trailer full of your junk so you can get out of Dodge.

276k miles on chassis, 140k miles on motor and tranny transplanted from a 2000 Excursion that was screaming "I want to be a big ass truck instead of a soccer mommy mobile." Passes smog easily with no issues.

You know you want it. Come and get some!

Hell, I almost wanna buy it . . .
I know lol!!!


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